Sowing

barnhengemama @ 2009-12-16T15:28:00

2009-12-16T20:28:34Z

I just woke up from a brief faceplant-into-the-New Yorker nap that lasted about thirty minutes. And while most other would be refreshed by this interlude; complete with two napping toddlers and a quietly playing five year old, I am not. Sleep apnea does not encourage random napping and so I feel sinusy and I woke with a jolt. Nothing like your body screaming "OHMAHGAWDI'MGONNADIE" to start off the afternoon. Well, that and the cartoon sketch of Sarah Palin tranferred onto one's left cheek.

On the flip side, I have mostly recovered by downing a full cup of the peppermint and chocolate coffee that was lanquishing in the coffee pot and fortified myself with no fewer than 5 sour cream cookies. And scrubbed Sarah off my cheek. I can really only think of one cheek good enough for the likes of her, but I'm not sure Doug would appreciate seeing her staring up at him in one of our more intimate moments.

I had a blast making cookies last night with floatyfish even though the sugar cookies were quite a debaucle. I am shall renew my skeptcism of untried recipes from books titled things like: 1001 Cookie Recipes. I'd had this fantasy of wading through the book Julie and Julia style but um, no. I have also been thoroughly enjoying Midwinter Graces - which I never aquired on my own and Amy was generous enough to share her copy with me. Also I now haz a pristine copy of Animal, Vegatable, Miracle and am setting it aside to savor after Christmas. I've wanted to read it for ages. What an awesome gift.

and now to tend the little(ish) voice upstairs - Mama? Mama? ... Mama!... Mama! ............ MAMA!

barnhengemama @ 2009-12-14T23:40:00

2009-12-15T04:40:11Z

Just sitting here staring at my partially decorated tabletop tree is making me all gushy inside. I'm sure it's the tree, not the exhaustion. Srsly. I'm sure. It's a shame I'll probably never get a really good photo of the tree the way I see it because well, that would take at the very least a tripod and a camera that does better in low light. Maybe that's part of the magic of it.

Also, I'm fairly certain that everyone I know is way more interesting than me. Maybe if I continue to surround myself with interestingness I'll become interesting via osmosis.

Today...

2009-12-15T03:54:16Z

I haz survived it and even got the tree up, garlanded, and lit.

That is all.

barnhengemama @ 2009-12-13T23:45:00

2009-12-14T04:45:13Z

Group trip to New Hope/Peddler's Village/Lambertville today. Am wiped out. It was very, very rainy, so our tromp through New Hope ended with coffee a few blocks in and a drive to Peddler's Village to look at the lights but not get out and get sodden further. So, we ended up doing quite a bit of driving with 4 tall and 1 small adult squished into my Forrester (Amy and Matt went ahead in the Mustang) in order to go to lunch at Lilly's on the Canal (tasty) and over to the River Horse Brewing Company for samples of yummy beer - I particularly enjoyed their Double Wit (belgian stye) and Heffe-rye-zen (a heffeweizen with rye) and bought some of both - before we attempted a holiday slosh through New Hope.

Did I mention that five of us decided to tackle a slice of seven layer chocolate cake? Thats right. Seven. It wasn't quite up to par with Death By Chocolate (which I've actually had at therestaurant that invented it) but man, oh man, was it decadent. It was still a good chance to meet everyone that Laci assembled and decide that we liked each other well enough to try this again. So, game night at my house on Jan 10th. *poke*

Sebastian is w/ Aunt Kimmie until tomorrow morning. D and I got back early, dropped everyone off, and went out for pho which makes me happy without fail. Tried to put the tree up, but the tree stand from last year is stripped and I'll have to go out and get a new one tomorrow. Sebastian and I picked the coldest day of the winter thus far to cut it down on Friday, which was quite an adventure. Even the Amish folks at the tree farm thought he looked like a little Amish boy with his blond hair and bowl cut. :)

Also, I have got to make sure to put aside time in the evenings for extracurricular "activities" and such. Tonight we are toddler free and spent it moving furniture and dealing with the stinking tree. Argh!

barnhengemama @ 2009-12-06T01:19:00

2009-12-06T06:19:58Z

I am kicking myself for walking away from a dress at Macy's that fit me perfectly when I tried it on - snug microfiber-like surplice bodice w/ a fullish taffeta skirt and crinoline, black, tea length - a party dress. I have no parties to attend, and to make sure, I called Doug, and he confirmed.

The damned thing was marked down 70 percent from $119. That's $36. It wasn't until I was checking out Hot Topic that I realized I could totally rock it out with accessories like fishnets and lace elbow gloves and a nifty fascinator and it would be more than awesome. It's not on the website. Maybe it will still be there tomorrow if I can talk my husband into allowing the purchase. Yet on the other hand, I need wardrobe staples, like jeans, and on the OTHER hand I have no classy club/party wear and I do sometimes get the chance to go. Sometimes. *sigh*

That aside, today has been pretty awesome. Snow! We got snow! Went out for a drive in it this morning after an actual Family Breakfast of garlic & mushroom omelette and scrapple. I did not get hungry again until around 5 p.m. Called off my crazy morning of working out due to what felt like a sinus infection that seems to have passed. Relaxed at home with D and The Boy and then went to get my hair cut. After that then to Laci's because while she had planned to not change clothes before her date this evening, she squatted to get something at work and blew out the seam in the butt of her pants. Fortunately it was during her last appointment and she could tie her sweater around her waist.

We then ambled off to the mall to scoop up a bunch of free goodies at LUSH (I was due for a trip anyway). Laci went off to her date (I am squeeing very, very much for her, I hope it was good) and I wandered around the mall. Alone. Which was bizarre feeling, but not unpleasant. Ended up doing a fair amound of the Christmas shopping and harrassed Doug on the phone about 15 times. We have a sitter for tomorrow and had planned on going together tomorrow but I found out this evening that the Mall closes at six. That's just not going to work out. But, it was good. I got to taste some really expensive and delicious balsamic vinegars at Williams-Sonoma (yea gods, some of them were so good I could just drizzle them on ice cream and NOMNOMNOMNOM). Had coffee and sat by the fountains BY MAHSELF. Decided not to slide tackle the various pushy kiosk vendors. Decided maybe just the rice-heat-pack guy. Decided maybe not, since I was wearing a skirt. I don't do malls well, alone. After a while I get dazed and start wandering in circles. Which is better than when I get dazed and just start buying stuff. I did okay today though and while it was definately novel and relaxing to go by myself, I'd have liked some company.

I know Doug loves me very much because when I got home there was still rice in the rice cooker for me to put kimchi on and he had laid in a fire because I'm a lizard and there was basking to be done. Mmmmm.

And he build a little snowman in the yard with The Boy because Sebastian decided right after dinner that if he didn't get to "touch snow" it would be the end of the world. And so out they went. In the dark. To touch some snow.

Now I am cross-eyed with the need to sleep and heat from the woodstove. Bed. Yes, bed is very, very, good.

barnhengemama @ 2009-12-03T09:12:00

2009-12-03T14:12:38Z

Watching my fully clothed two year old son hike his leg up onto his kiddie potty and attempt to "insert" a tampon is probably the funniest thing I've seen in ages.

Obviously, I've not had any privacy in the bathroom for some time. :P

barnhengemama @ 2009-12-02T15:40:00

2009-12-02T20:40:22Z

Bananas Foster Crepes Rock My World.

That said, I figured I'd take advantage of a rainy afternoon, a blissfully sleeping toddler, reheated coffee, and a my astronomical blood sugar reading to do a little blogging. Also, Tarkan, because I have a sweet spot for Turkish pop music.

*jumps up to dance in front of the mirror*

Okay, now on to actual blogging. It's been a week since I've worked out so I've passed the "itching to sweat" phase and entered the "oh shit, this is what it's like to have a relaxing morning" phase. I should get back to the gym before I lose it altogether - if only to justify the eating of gigantic portions of Banana's Foster crepes for the lowlowlow price of $5. I had to run into town to get tampons, since I keep chickening out on trying to use my Diva Cup, and passed a newish place called Brunches Cafe. After we left Rite Aid, Sebastian and I went for a little walk in our little town to look in the windows. He's started asking "What's that?" at everything. So far, I love it. Anyway, the menu posted was a really reasonably priced assortment of breakfast and lunch items - but the crepes caught my eye. Maybe because the very cool someone I got to hang out with yesterday mentioned crepes and I have been fantasizing about them ever since. So really, I HAD to go in and get some for us - I mean - I rarely go to Oxford, when I do it's mostly to the feed store, I rarely feel the need or have the time to go for a bit of a walk there, and I haven't thought of crepes except for the occasional fantasy based on an article called "The Soulful Crepes of Brittany" by Nancy Coons. (aside: I could NOT find a link to the actual article which is really worth reading - I have it in the 2007 Best Food Writing anthology and it's originally from Saveur magazine).

I really should put my awesome powers of actualization to use for the greater good, I think.

I also finally stopped in a place called Still Water Fibers that has been on the corner next to Serendipi-tea for at least two years. I've been meaning to stop in there for ages. Not that I knit. Or crochet. Or felt. Or weave. Or spin. Or even sew. My relationship with fiber is, pure, tactile "I JUST WANT TO PET THE RABBITS", lust. I'm terrified of getting started for fear that I won't stop. As it is, I'd happily Scrooge McDuck myself in piles of skeins and raw fleece in every color imaginable for days and days. It doesn't help that there are so many voice luridly calling me to the dark side -- it seems half the folks I like the best are involved in textiles. Anyway - I spoke with the proprietor for a few minutes and discovered that yes, she gives lessons - $56 for four two hour lessons. $63 if I bring someone else w/ me (to split the cost!). I know there's the internet, and free books, and YouTube and even my friend Angie on Skype. But I think I'd be more likely to commit to lessons. No, I don't think, I know. I am not a self-motivated learner -- not with Facebook and LJ, and peopleofwalmart.com to keep me occupied, anyway. Witness my poor little doumbek all safely stashed in a high chair in the dining room. I respond to instruction and learn the best one-on-one or in a small group so I can ask questions and learn at my own relatively fast pace.

Yesterday I got to meet a new awesome person of awesomeness. She came to my house bearing a lovely pile of skirts I purchased from her on fatshionista and stayed for tea and chicken feeding time. She was very tolerant of my under-napped toddler and he took right to her, which was cute. Life has been very circuitous and serendipitous lately. Very much so. In many, very pleasant ways. Well, except the one where Sebastian refuses to nap if I've got someone coming over. I don't even tell him. It's like the ducks and the airplanes. He just *knows* Mama's got something planned that does not directly involve him.

I finally made it to Donna's bellydancing class! To be honest, it was fun, but a bit anticlimatic since it was my goal activity way back in May. First, I thought class was a 6:30 and running late, I got there at 6:40 only to find out that class was actually at 6. Bah! So I missed all the initial review of technique and jumped right in... unwarmed up and graceless, and tried to fumble through. I decided to flab my way through the movements and just really watch Donna, so I could practice at home. I was pretty disspirited about the whole thing at the time, but it was good to visit with Donna a bit after class. I feel better about it today, now that I've been practicing here and there at home today. I absorbed more than I thought. It was also hard to not feel schlumpy in the wall-o-mirrors yesterday. I mentioned that to Donna and she chastised me a bit -- since I'm all about FA, and the human body, and having good form, she was like "You should be LOVING the mirror" Sadly, no, that chick in the mirror and I don't get along all the time. Not when I have to watch my body move - I'm far less graceful than I'd like to believe, but I'm working on it. The only way to move through it is to watch myself moving in the mirror more frequently and a) get used to it and b) improve and refine my movements.

Still, I want to dance. I need to dance. So dance I shall!

barnhengemama @ 2009-11-29T09:51:00

2009-11-29T14:51:37Z

At Longwood last night, I was telling Sebastian the names of various flowers.

I cannot convince him that one particular flower's name is not "Hi, biscuits!"

barnhengemama @ 2009-11-28T15:25:00

2009-11-28T20:26:00Z

Brussels sprouts + heavy cream + chestnuts + bacon = a burlesque production of The Sound of Music. Seriously. Wholesome enrobed in decadance. Mmmmmm.

That is all.

barnhengemama @ 2009-11-21T16:40:00

2009-11-21T21:40:18Z

So I don't forget.

Am having idea for a Stone Soup Sunday, in which I invite all my female friends to bring two items - 1 for soup, and 1 not for soup either entertainment or for bonus, like wine, and we will make soup and be merry. We'll improvise our soup based on the different ingredients we bring to it, much like how our friendships develop.... even if it's not gourmet, enough wine and crusty bread should make for a lovely time.

Best held sometime at the end of January/beginning of February when winter is at it's bleakest.

I'll have to find a proper stone of course and we'll have to bless it thoroughly with wine and wishes before adding it to the pot.

Random thoughts

2009-11-17T18:31:55Z

I think it's interesting that when man announces that his wife is pregnant, it is often "We're pregnant!" but it is almost always "She miscarried." Interesting transfer of possesion on several levels. I am admire the phrasing of a not terribly PC friend of mine on FB who is a bit "We're pregnant!" kind of guy however when announcing their terribly unfortunate miscarriage today, his phrasing was more "It didn't make it" - which is a blameless statement and women tend to blame themselves enough in that circumstance. If I were having a miscarriage, however, I don't think I'd care to have my husband say "We're having a miscarriage" because, well, he's not. I like my friend's phrasing better.

I'm speculating on what to make of our society where we attempt to empower children as if they were adults and do not honor our old people. I'm tired of reading on message boards that parents have to "earn" respect and there are parents that don't expect their children to respect them blindly. I think it's taking the message of not following authority blindly a little far. Watch it guys, if that trend continues, your kids are gonna think they can toss you into the tar pits when you're old. Respect and consideration are basic operating policy for human interraction and parents ARE authority figures with more life experience and wisdom than the little people that are supposed to be learning from them.

Also my child needs to remember how to nap. NOW.

barnhengemama @ 2009-11-15T00:20:00

2009-11-15T05:20:16Z

'round this time two years ago, I was just dissapointedly settling in for a LONG anxiety riddled night of contractions with no progress after being ordered into bed until the baby was born since he was passing all kinds of meconium. It was worth every minute. The feeling of his warm, wet, body on my abdomen just a second after I pushed him out is one of my most cherished memories ever. And it's only gotten better - well, except for now and the "toddlers don't need to sleep" thing - but other than that...

Carrot cake cooling on the counter, food in the fridge, in laws, husband, and child sleeping upstairs, the sound of laundry in the dryer and a few minutes to myself before I hit the ground running tomorrow. Life is good. Life is REAL good.

barnhengemama @ 2009-11-11T22:27:00

2009-11-12T03:56:29Z

In some universe it makes sense for the day my Mom stays home ill from work to also be the day she is inspired to drive 25 minutes in the nastycoldrain to bring ME a pot of homemade soup and a loaf of crusty mulitgrain bread and have dinner with us. She arrived just as Doug got home and I had to head out for a dental cleaning so they had a visit and we all had dinner when I got home. It was seriously nasty out. I can't get her to come visit hardly ever. It was such a nice visit for all of us, too. She's got what seems to be a bacterial URI-type thing. Probably the soup and company was good for her and she knew we couldn't come down.

I love my Mama. We can't plan to do anything together to save our lives but the impromptu stuff is almost always awesome.

I've really not been able to get it together today. Had a few bleak moments spawned more by oversensitivity than for an actual, logical reason. Mostly self-image related. Was strong enough to combat the temptation to hit McD's drive thru coming back from the gym (my classic depression response is to stuff my face w/ fast food) but was not strong enough to resist the quarter bag of chips on the pantry that I mindlessly shoved in my face, standing barefoot in said pantry. Maybe I was also craving the salt, but still.... will start fresh tomorrow. I've also really been wanting chocolate. Not good chocolate, but crap chocolate... like peanut butter cups. I may have to indulge and split a pack with D to keep me from eating another half a Hershey bar from the S'more's box because while the Hershey's helped, it didn't satisfy. :)

I'm plowing through the Twilight Saga again. I had just intended to read New Moon before seeing the movie but I'm already several chapters into Breaking Dawn. That went fast! I'm enjoying the re-read because the suspense is managable for me and I'm getting some more details. I have this great relationship with books. I'm a fast reader so if I enjoy a book, I'll definately re-read it at least once to try to get more out of it. Then, if I don't read it again for several years, I can read it AGAIN and it is still enjoyable. My favoritest books have been read and re-read dozens of times. It also gives me the excuse to buy books instead of go to the library because I forget titles all the time so I may read a really good book and forget the title and author and then have no way to remember! See? I can rationalize anything.

On a funny note: Doug and I usually sing Sebastian a song to tuck him in at night. Maybe a verse of Snuggle Puppy or Baby Mine. Sometimes Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star or The Itsy Bitsy Spider. Tonight he asked us to sing this:

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barnhengemama @ 2009-11-10T15:27:00

2009-11-10T21:04:40Z

Don't think I had a night as rough as last night since Sebastian was an infant. He was up screaming several times before we went to bed and so finally the arrangement was made that he would sleep with me and Doug would sleep in the guest/massage room. This worked better for Doug than I because the little dude STILL managed to shove me all the way to the edge of the bed. Also, I had to keep twisting my head into weird positions because of the CPAP. *sigh* We still can't figure out exactly what was going on with Sebastian... was he in pain or upset or having nightmares? I dunno. He seems to be breathing through his mouth more at night only, and also leaving dinnerplate sized wet spots of drool in the morning. He did not in our bed, and seems to be breathing through his nose more during the day. That goes on whether or not his sleep is fragmented. It could be a sinus infection left from us having colds, possibly an allergy to his new mattress, or maybe even his two year molars coming in. With last night alone - I was thinking maybe a bellyache/gas or reflux. I'm leaning towards possibly reflux because he would gulp and cry - but that could be sore throat/sinus, too. And he's mostly fine when awake and doesn't tell me that anything hurts (which he is capable of). So frustrating! I'm sure yesterday had something to do with missing his nap and all the activity around here.

He and Laci and I went for a gorgeous two hour hike yesterday. We got back and I fed The Boy and finished making potato soup. Amy came over and then Raven showed up with her kids. Sebastian just refused to sleep because I got him down late and there was a lot going on and while he did admirable without his nap, I figured we'd be paying for that at night. It's always been like that. We can miss a nap, but nighttime is really rough afterwards. It was a glorious day though.

We are planning his birthday gathering for Sunday. I am very excited because my MIL just called yesterday to say that she and my FIL are going to drive down from Maine to visit. That's just awesome. Sebastian will be thrilled, too. Kimmie and Daryl wanted to get him a few aquatic turtles for this birthday, but it doesn't look like it's going to work out. They are pretty high maintenance, apparently. So we chatted and we're now thinking maybe a few fish. I'd like him to have something to look after, but I'm not ready for any cavi's. We had a rabbit. It was aweful so the hamster/guinea pig/rat/gerbil idea is just out. Our house is too drafty for a bird and we already have chickens. He already helps feed the kitties and "helps" with the kitty litter by bringing me big handfuls of it. :)

I just ordered the cake pan (it's sick, I know, I wasn't going to but it was too perfect) and Nana is bringing carrots from her garden so I'll make a carrot cake in it. I have the food figured out and a handful of guests and it should be a nice time, I think. I have to get to AC Moore for a few odds and ends and then go grocery shopping on Friday or Saturday. I'm making a big crockpot of homemade tomato soup and grilled cheese sandwiches, broccoli salad, some cheese and apples, and maybe some soft pretzels. Hopefully it will be nice enough outside to turn the kids loose in a few piles of leaves and call it a day!

barnhengemama @ 2009-11-06T19:48:00

2009-11-07T01:08:42Z

I got on the scale today while holding Sebastian, and looked down to see the numbers that I saw in June. Wow. I've lost a toddler (30lbs!) since June -- sneaky, sneaky.   The cool thing is that I've had so much fun doing it. I'm pleased that my shape is changing in healthy ways -- my posture is improving and my overall sense of well being is improving and I have so much more energy. I've tried to remain very body positive no matter what the scale said and I guess that's worked.

I love my increased endurance and strength. I enjoy moving my body and dancing again. My relationship with food is so much healthier (I don't do nearly as much emotional eating b/c my emotions are more or less more stable) and the food that I eat is usually nourishing and satisfying. I am curious how much I can do stregthwise and endurancewise. I'm also fantasizing about a day when I may not have to sleep with my CPAP anymore - when I can actually go camping and take naps in the sun without waking up to massive headaches and sluggishness.

The downside is that my clothes are becoming ill-fitting and I'm not really willing to invest in new clothes until my body stabilizes somewhere. I'm thinking about investing in a number of long, one-size skirts and a few pairs of boots to get me through until summer as the foundation of my wardrobe. It'll suit me okay, I think, but will take a bit of getting used to.   I wonder where I can get some good long flowy skirts that are not made of super-thin material. Will have to scavenge eBay and Etsy, I think.

I'm beginning to start wanting to focus on strength and flexibility again. So I'm bartering massage for private pilates instruction. I need to start weight training twice a week, as well. I'm thinking about doing "burst" weights or resistance training to get some cardio in with it.   That said, tomorrow should be a doozy. I've got Zumba at 9, pilates at 10, doing a massage at 11ish and then going to the spa to work a few hours. I've decided not to start working on my own doing sports massage at Fun and Fit 4Life because I'd still be working under the umbrella of my Pennsylvania business license. Why does this matter? Because if I work in Cecil county I can attend the local community college with in county rates. I live *just* over the line in PA and the closest community college is at least 45 minutes away. Cecil is closer to me AND closer to my emergency babysitter. AND up to 2000 of my tuition is reimbursable so I'm going for it. I doofused myself out of college early on and I'd like to try to get at least most of the way to my associates degree in the next few years. PLUS I can get my full licensure in MD with 60 credit hours (the regs are ridiculous) which would be convenient. Oh, so the reason I'm putting in hours at the spa is because Elsa is willing to consider me in her employ if I pinch hit for her on a semi-regular basis until something permanent shows up which is perfect!

Also just realized that making a batch of French lentils with about 8-9 caramelized onions and a whole head caramelized garlic AND about 10 cloves of pickled garlic on the side should make for interesting metabolic process tomorrow. o_O Hopefully I'll sweat it all out early. :)

barnhengemama @ 2009-11-05T22:53:00

2009-11-06T04:02:07Z

Just heard about the incident at Ft. Hood. I'm a little stunned and a bit sick to my stomach - all those poor people and their families. I guess I am very blessed to be of the mindset where that kind of violence - just people being capable of it - is so very foreign to me - to have a fairly sheltered existance in that regard. On a larger scale, I think most of us are, which is why something like this can be so shocking. The savagery of all those lives just being snuffed is sickening.

Lots of extra prayers tonight and one major dose of gratitude for my intact and unharmed family.

barnhengemama @ 2009-11-04T23:21:00

2009-11-05T04:38:27Z

Today after Sebastian went down for his nap (thank god!) I was able to have a long, luxurious shower with all my LUSH goodies and lotions then wrap myself in a super-soft squishy bathrobe and take a 1 1/2 hour nap. What absolute decadence.

This evening visit with Raven and her kidlets wherein I promised to make them dinner and the meatloaf wasnt' getting done in time so I somehow scavenged a completely respectable and mostly healthy dinner for three adults and three children out of some leftovers, a bit of veg from the freezer, and my emergency box of instant potatoes. Am feeling a bit good about the resourcefulness and grateful for those skills gleaned from a pretty darn lean family situation growing up. I like that I can look in the fridge and make dinner "appear" out of what may seem like nothing to a lot of folks I know.

Now chatting on FB with Bev when I should be sleeping. Totally worth it though. :)

barnhengemama @ 2009-11-03T22:42:00

2009-11-04T04:00:08Z

I made it through an exercise(ish) class today. While I am not fully *better* I only had to step out once for a coughing fit. NIA was exactly what I needed today ... well that and the tuna steak that I barely heated through and wolfed down w/ a pile of baby spinach and green onions. Seriously I'm craving raw, or near raw fish and lots of it. Weird.

Very busy day of driving around and running errands and absconding with husband from his workplace for lunch (Mexican!) with The Boy. Sebastian has discovered the joys of NOT sitting in a high chair at restraunts and I fear there may be no turning back. He also shoved fistfuls of rice and chorizo in his face and did his Mama proud. Towards the end of the day, we stopped at a local-ish park that I've not checked out yet. The playground is HUGE and pretty good. There's one slide that is a rather gentle incline that is made of rollers like an assembly like and it was awesome. No sneakers catching the surface and breaking momentum. Sebastian loved it... especially when he realized he could go down on his tummy.

I did take him to the pedi today for his flu shot. I've deliberated on it hard and decided that it's probably for the best because he's in the babysitting program at the YMCA nearly every day. They also had the H1N1 vax available so I got that, too. I'm postponing any other vaccines until spring ( I selectively vax and stagger them out pretty far) and hope I've made the right decision. I may get it for myself as well because I DO have an autoimmune (stoopid sarcoidosis) issue and if a bad cold knocks me out for over a week, I can only imagine what the flu would do. I am also not a fan of pushing a baby out with a catheter in (idiot doctors!). I feel the need to be all confessional and point out that after such an experience and a week of coughing well, accidents happen. Frequently, in my case. So I did it. I broke down and bought a package of Poise pads. *sigh* While it means I'm doing significantly less laundry, it feels like I'm walking around with a pillow between mah legs. Ah feel so sexay, lemmetellya.

just me whining and stuff

2009-11-02T04:43:53Z

I am feeling suddenly and very intensely lonely just now. Very little this week has worked out as I (loosely) planned. For example I am just now getting the autumn decorations up. In addition, I have such an odd assortment of "pretties" that get less and less cohesive every year. I love the look of all my old glass and stuff, but frankly, it's breakable and requires dusting. I have a toddler, three cats, few pieces of furniture with display surfaces and an old house whose irregularly level floors often render otherwise stable locations unstable. That and I am more and more becoming a "form and function" type of call. I always have been to degree - drawn to vases, and baskets, and mirrors, and bowls, and candleholders and so on-- not so much outright tchokes. Even those are tiring me, lately. I'd rather a few pieces of sculpture or the like, some lovely items that I'd actually use, piles of books (check!) and a ton of art work and photos on the walls. The idea of "stuff" is just so unappealing to me right now.

And it may seems that I've rabbit-trailed again, however, I find that this lonely feeling and the need to divulge myself of unneccessaries go hand in hand. Maybe the loneliness is just my spirit making room for me to give it the good scrubbing/ airing out that I feel I need to do to my house and belongings. Reappraise things, finally get something on the bare-ish walls even it it's not what I want to have there permanently.

I am a bit forlorn about the Epic Week of Sick because we missed out on so much -- I never really got the opportunity to trully rest up and beat the oog. That coupled with the grey, grey days made it a rough week. I got sick on the last beautiful day we had -- clear, brisk, with the leaves just peaking. The next few days it rained almost nonstop and knocked all the color out of the trees and stayed overcast from then on. I just feel like I had the rug pulled out from under me, seasonally. I know it sounds weird but this is my favorite time of year. I guess the best comparison would be like, missing the week of Christmas -- the final cumulation of the season and looking down the barrel at the rest of the winter. I didn't get to take The Boy trick or treating, we didn't carve jack o' lanterns (and I'm srs about jack o' lanterns bb - even got special tools), didn't decorate, didn't dress up and hang with the family. It was windy and rainy but we were going to go anyway -- until D started puking. Fearing the flu, we all stayed home, and he felt better in a few hours. Must've been something he ate. I have the stomach of cast iron, so it could have been something "we" ate that didn't really affect me.

Come to think of it -- I think it's easily been a week since I've spent time with anyone aside from D and The Boy. No. Wait, I did manage to meet up with Mom on Thursday and risk dinner at Cracker Barrel b/c I was too tired to cook, D was out of town and she hadn't seen Sebastian in ages. And that same day, I took Sebastian to Milburn's so that he could run around and play without being too close to other children just in case he or they were contagious. So we have gotten to do some stuff. I guess feeling so blah has sort of colored it (well, that and trying really hard not to pee myself every time I cough- especially in public- is getting farkin' old).

On a really positive note: just as The Boy was waking from his nap, this weird thing happened where there was light coming IN the windows of the house and this bright shiney thing appeared in the sky. After I reassured myself it wasn't a UFO, I grabbed D and the Boy and we hightailed it to Longwood for a few hours before it got dark. It was nice to get out of the house, get some fresh air, and sunshine and play with pumpkins and treehouses.

barnhengemama @ 2009-10-27T22:32:00

2009-10-28T02:41:33Z

I really, really, want to be better by this weekend. Really. Not that I have anything very special planned, well except for stealing candy from Sebastian. You see, we'd decided to go ahead and let him go trick or treating with Landen this year and THEN... wait for it.... he'll donate his candy to poor children to don't get candy (MAMA AND DADA) in exchange for a cupcake and some cheese and crackers. Everyone wins!

Really I just want to see him in his bee costume. He really loves bees, at the moment. When Danielle mentioned she had a bee costume (she just randomely had one, go figure, the woman can NOT pass up a sale and it always works for her) to loan, we were tickled. Doug is going to dress up like a bee keeper, as Sebastian is also infatuated with "bee suits". I didn't even know he knew what one was until he pointed at a canopy made from a hoop and netting at IKEA and said "bee suit!" I was going to go as a queen bee, unless I can't get a crown/antennae thingamajig rigged. Even got stripey yellow legwarmers. I know it's campy but I don't care.

There are awesome Halloween gatherings going on all around and yet, D and I will come home,put the boy to bed and then maybe, if things get really frisky.... we'll play some Scrabble. There's always next year, I suppose.

When it rains...

2009-10-26T17:33:10Z

OH HAI MENSES.

So glad you could make it to the party. Three weeks late, but hey, you'd have missed all the fun if you had shown up on time. Thank God Doug stayed home for a few hours this morning to get me started AND the The Boy went down for his nap.

*crawls off to bed*

barnhengemama @ 2009-10-25T21:43:00

2009-10-26T02:00:44Z

Am sick. Has phlegm, scratchy itchy sore throat, cough, fever, etc, etc. The Boy too, although he seems to be in better spirits than I. He has also been generally refusing to sleep for the past few days, which makes it harder. Waaaay harder. So I'm prepared to be sick Mom at home with sick kiddo tomorrow. I really hate that. My husband is one of the most helpful husbands ever... BUT on the rare occasion that he gets really ill, he can stay home and hide out. Not me. I'm THE MAMA. *sigh*

Of course, he could have offered to watch Sebastian who was very pointedly Not Napping, so that I could rest instead of escaping outside under the pretense of chopping wood. :/ I'm really irritated with him right now, but as I type what I'm thinking, I realize it's working me up even more and so I deleted whatever I had and am just going to let it pass. I'm just tired, and feel like teh crap.

The upside of teh sick is that I was crappy enough for D to take Sebastian and I out for pho today. I may go back tomorrow. I swear, I feel human for at least 30-45 minutes after a bowl of pho and that's a welcome respite. I may go back tomorrow and sequester The Boy, myself, and a gallon of hand sanitizer in a little nook they have in the back so we can gorgo on pho again.

I'm also staring at three HUGE packages of chicken thighs in the fridge that I have to deal with tomorrow (they were on super-sale and I need to make and can stock), as well as six flats of mushrooms that I was going to marinate, and a pile of apples to jam. Apparently was feeling ambitious on Saturday morning - not just ambitious, but darn good. Yeesh, things turn around fast.

Whew.

2009-10-25T04:29:47Z

I would like to point out that de-skunking a cat in the kitchen sink is really no where near my "Top Ten Things To Do At Midnight On A Saturday" Just in case you're wondering. Getting one's arms shredded by the already mentally disturbed beast in question does not improve the situation at all. I now smell skunkier than she.

*sigh*

Rural living. It's a hoot, I tell ya.

In other news

2009-10-21T03:00:27Z

I made a Curried Sweet Potato and Lentil Stew in the crockpot and I could totally make the seks with it.

3 c. peeled sweet potatoes in 1" dice
1 small onion chopped
1 1/2 c. baby carrots
1 1/2 c. frozen green beans
3/4 cup lentils, sorted and rinsed
1 14.5 oz can of veg broth (or comparable)
2 tbsp olive oil
2 cloves garlic
1 tsp ground cumin
1 tsp curry powder
1 tsp gingerroot (grated)

Put the sweet potatoes, onion, carrots, and lentils in the crock pot. Saute spices, garlic, and ginger in the olive oil for one minute. Add broth and heat through. Dump over the veg mixture in the crock pot. Heat on low 5-6 hours. In the last 15 minutes set to High and add green beans and heat until crisp tender.

My modifications:
Closer to 4 c. sweet potatoes, maybe more
Large onion
Regular carrots and more like two cups
Double the spices, ginger, and garlic (nearly)
Peas instead of green beans (did not set to High)
Basically it looks like I made the recipe +1/2 or so because I had three large sweet potatoes to use up.

barnhengemama @ 2009-10-20T21:54:00

2009-10-21T02:13:09Z

Sebastian is one of those kids who steps back and watches what everyone else is doing in a new situation before jumping in himself. He's also historically taken some time to warm to new people and situations but more in a cautious way rather than a fearful way. These past few weeks though, it's finally dawned on me exactly how confident and independent he actually is. He handles new social interractions well and is remembering and warming to people faster and faster. He's learning the basics of politeness -- saying hello, goodbye and nice to see you. He's helpful and thoughtful probably 85-90 percent of the time.

He's had another week of cognitive leaps. They are almost always preceeded by a few nights of broken sleep and bad dreams so I was prepared for it. More abstract thoughts are coming together. For example, I spoke to him on Monday morning about going to see Miss Stephanie (who leads his movement class) the next day, after two "night, nights". That evening, I asked him what we were going to do in the morning and he said "See Feffy!" I almost fell out of my chair. He really does look foward to class. Today, though the thing that socked me in the gut, was that instead of him sitting in my lap like usually during 'circle time' (wherein I do the songs and hand motions and he generally is content to watch), he plopped himself in Stephanie's lap AND did almost all the songs and appropriate handsgns. He was so proud of himself and watched me the whole time like "Look what I can do, Mama!" We've been doing some of the songs at home to get him more comfortable with it, but sheesh.

So on one hand, I'm thrilled because he's not super-needy and clingy even though with his temperment I can see where he very easily COULD have been. So I must be doing something right, right? But on the other hand I felt so.... useless, almost but not quite rejected. This cemented my observation that he's learning to take comfort and affection from others and even seek it out and (I think) appreciate the differences between people. It would make sense - I'm a generally affectionate person with my friends so that's his only model so far. Mama is not the "be all, end all" anymore. *sniffles* Who needs who, here, yanno?